Thursday, January 21, 2010

Making the approach

I can see it now. There. Below the clouds. I'm about to land in an exciting and strange new place.

My Thirty's

In 77 days I will be out of my twenties and into my thirties. Since the average life expectancy is almost eighty, I will save thinking of myself as middle aged for when I turn forty.

I have no regrets about my 20's. Sure I made mistakes and did foolish things, but I also learned a lot about myself by doing those foolish things. And boy did I have fun! I loved and laughed and met some pretty amazing people along the way. I have always been one of those people that believes in fate. And I truly believe that every step takes you exactly where you are supposed to be in this life.

I can't say for sure that I am apprehensive or scared of turning thirty, but I do feel a little pressure to grow up and get serious about my future. Why thirty? It's not as if society says you must figure out your life plan by the ripe old age of thirty. But there is something about approaching this new decade of my life that is suddenly making me think about where I am and where I should be.

For the most part I am happy where I am. I love my family and friends, and I am pretty secure with who I am.
Except for one area of my life...my career. Or lack there of.

I never finished college because I never figured out what I wanted to do with my life. There are some people that know, even when they are children, what they want to be when they grow up. Not me. I have at one time or another wanted to try a multitude of jobs and careers. My freshmen year of college I changed majors 3 times. This is my biggest problem...I get a big idea about something, I immerse myself in it, and then I forget about it and move on to something else. Case in point-check out the timing of my last post. DECEMBER! I thought it would be cool to become a blogger. I set it up, spent all night writing and then didn't post again for almost 2 months.

Do I have a dream job? I don't know. One thing I have always wanted to do is write a book. But about what? And who would read it? I figure maybe someday it will come to me. Until then I have a constant narrative that runs thru my head.

I am looking at my thirties as a time to find myself. Being a mother and a wife is important to me and my number one priority, but I am a creative person and I need to find an outlet for that. I like to make people laugh, and I want to make a name for myself. I want to work hard so my family is proud of me. So I guess in a sense my dream job would be one that lets me nurture my family and my soul...not I just have to figure out how to make that work.

9 comments:

  1. You have done well for yourself in life. I could not be more proud of the person you have become. Whlie it would be nice to somehow complete school, that damm piece of paper could open up many areas for you as you go on to whatever you decide to pursue in life. I can't tell how much I regrete not doing this myself. In the meantime enjoy Jackson to the fullest. Before you know it he'll grow up and you'll long for these days.

    Love,

    Dad

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  2. I am visiting back! My thirties have been so much better than my twenties...embrace it!

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  3. Wow, you have 3 blogs... I'm following you back^^

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  4. I'm visiting you back! My 30's are slowly creeping up on me also. I thought I'd be scared, but from what I've heard, they're actually not that bad :)

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  5. The thirtieth thing can make you re-focus. And that's always hard in itself - change is painful but can be so good. Good luck!! And happy early birthday.

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  6. In my 20's, I was a wild child and a writer girl. I wrote for the paper and freelanced in magazines. In my 30's or actually 28, I settled down and became a mom and my life went from dancing on tables and writing deadlines to lullabies and soft, pink bundles of baby girls literally overnight. And even though I loved everything about being a stay at home mommy, my writing was always there, calling to me. It wasn't until I was in my 40's that I listened and realized I needed to pick up my writer's pen again. I wrote a novel in between school pick ups and soccer practices and doctor appts. And it was the most fulfilling thing I have ever done. I don't know if anything will come of it, but I have never been happier. And the reason I'm telling you this long, drawn out story is because I want to say, the one thing I regret is not starting sooner. As much as I loved being a mom, there was still that little hole that needed to be filled, that little spot that belongs only to me. If you can find out what it is that is calling to you, act on it. Even if you have to sandwich it in between everything else. You'll never regret it and it will be just magically delicious!

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  7. I just turned 34 and I gotta tell you - the 30s are AWESOME!

    And even with a husband, 2 kids, a full time job, a blossoming writing thing (gig? hobby? who knows), I STILL don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

    IF I grow up.

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  8. Yay, 30's! I am 36. It's not so bad. :)

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