Thursday, January 21, 2010

Making the approach

I can see it now. There. Below the clouds. I'm about to land in an exciting and strange new place.

My Thirty's

In 77 days I will be out of my twenties and into my thirties. Since the average life expectancy is almost eighty, I will save thinking of myself as middle aged for when I turn forty.

I have no regrets about my 20's. Sure I made mistakes and did foolish things, but I also learned a lot about myself by doing those foolish things. And boy did I have fun! I loved and laughed and met some pretty amazing people along the way. I have always been one of those people that believes in fate. And I truly believe that every step takes you exactly where you are supposed to be in this life.

I can't say for sure that I am apprehensive or scared of turning thirty, but I do feel a little pressure to grow up and get serious about my future. Why thirty? It's not as if society says you must figure out your life plan by the ripe old age of thirty. But there is something about approaching this new decade of my life that is suddenly making me think about where I am and where I should be.

For the most part I am happy where I am. I love my family and friends, and I am pretty secure with who I am.
Except for one area of my career. Or lack there of.

I never finished college because I never figured out what I wanted to do with my life. There are some people that know, even when they are children, what they want to be when they grow up. Not me. I have at one time or another wanted to try a multitude of jobs and careers. My freshmen year of college I changed majors 3 times. This is my biggest problem...I get a big idea about something, I immerse myself in it, and then I forget about it and move on to something else. Case in point-check out the timing of my last post. DECEMBER! I thought it would be cool to become a blogger. I set it up, spent all night writing and then didn't post again for almost 2 months.

Do I have a dream job? I don't know. One thing I have always wanted to do is write a book. But about what? And who would read it? I figure maybe someday it will come to me. Until then I have a constant narrative that runs thru my head.

I am looking at my thirties as a time to find myself. Being a mother and a wife is important to me and my number one priority, but I am a creative person and I need to find an outlet for that. I like to make people laugh, and I want to make a name for myself. I want to work hard so my family is proud of me. So I guess in a sense my dream job would be one that lets me nurture my family and my soul...not I just have to figure out how to make that work.