Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Every story has a beginning....

And here is mine.

There are 2 types of women that get married. Those that want to start a family RIGHTTHISSECOND and those who prefer to put it off for a bit.

I fall into the latter half of these ladies...

So in September of 2005, when I married the man of my dreams, we were both content to wait a bit before diving into the proverbial kiddie pool. That's not to say that kids were out of the question, but we were in no hurry to, as they say, pull the goalie!

We spent 3 blissful years enjoying each other and the freedom that comes with not having a family. We traveled, stayed out late, and did what we want, when we wanted to.

Drink all problem
Take a mid-day nap...don't mind if I do
Aside from work life was ours to enjoy

But then one day, we realized that as much fun as this freedom was, we were missing something. I began to look at my friends with kids and yearned for what they had. I had daydreams about Kevin and I watching our kids baseball games, taking family vacations, and seeing them squeal with delight on Christmas morning. It was time.

You always think that once you decide to start a family it will happen right away. For us it did not. And though I played it off as no big deal, inside I was filled with worry. Is something wrong with me? With him? With both of us?
We told friends and family that we weren't really "trying to get pregnant" we just weren't "not trying to get pregnant", but truthfully each month that passed without a positive pregnancy test become more and more disappointing.

Finally in January we got the news we had been waiting for. I was so excited that I had no sooner peed on the stick, then I had told everyone and anyone the exciting news! In an instant I began dreaming of the family we were going to start. Little did I know the HUGE curve ball life was about to throw at me.

The day of my first doctors appointment I miscarried.

I felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me. I felt defeated and small. I wondered if the family I dreamed was just that...a dream. Despite my sadness and disappointment, I got back on the horse-or should I say my husband- and before I knew it I was pregnant again!

A miscarriage changes you. In a way I felt cheated out of the blissful ignorance of many newly pregnant ladies. I went thru every day wondering if something was wrong, if this baby would also be taken away. It's not the greatest feeling, but it does give you a new appreciation for life. I didn't take a single moment of my pregnancy for granted. Even as I dry heaved thru my first trimester, I reveled in my nausea because it meant that the life inside me was growing strong.

On November 9th, 2009 after 4 hours of intense pushing ending in a c-section (I'll save all the juicy details for another day) the family that I dreamed of began. Jackson Robert was born and my life changed forever.

So here I am! Sometimes I am sappy, sometimes I am funny, and I always over share! I hope you'll join me on my journey into mommy-hood. I promise it will be an adventure!!